Indescribable

(I apologize in advance for the redundancy of words such as, amazing, beautiful, incredible, best...I can't think of any other words to accurately describe what happened)

This last weekend was amazing--I already had high expectations, but this surpassed anything I could have imagined. A group of 8 of us from the program went on the Garden Route with Collene (our awesome tour guide/friend) and her friend Michael, who drove us. The Garden Route is usually done over a couple weeks' time, but we only had three days, so our schedule was packed as we only got to do a portion of the Garden Route (there's an incredible amount to see and do). It was really fun having to rush from activity to activity; we were timed and would be walking/running in between and jumping in/out of the van.

On top of that, Collene had amazing stories to share in between, as her parents are mountaineers and she has been mountain-climbing since she was 3. Let's just say her stories are ridiculous. For example, she and her siblings while hiking with their father had to cross a "step over," a gap 6 feet wide over a hundred meters high. How did they get across? Her did lied down across and acted as a bridge. So crazy. Also, Collene knows a lot about the history of South Africa, so she would share interesting facts about places as we drove by. Lastly, being from South Africa, she knew where the best places to go, eat, and sleep where. Awesomeness of the trip goes in large to her planning and tour guiding skills.

Here's some of what went down this last weekend…
FRIDAY - the 21st
*Breakfast at Country Pumpkin in Barrydale, a beautiful country town in the mountains
*Cango Caves Adventure Tour - walked through beautiful caves (and saw some incredible stuff that I've only seen in movies), and crawled and climbed through 4 different tunnels. Of course, I fell while sliding down a rock, but being an expert at falling, I jumped right back up "I'm fine!" :) I have a battle knee scar.
*Ostrich Farm - we got to hug and feed ostriches! My favorite part was when we got to ride them. I was the first to go, and I had no idea what to expect. "Any last words?" "GO!" and the ostrich went, and I could not stop laughing. It was so fast.
*Had dinner at Blue Olive Restaurant in a town called "WIldnerness" - everyone's food was delicious. We definitely left satisfied.
*Stayed at the Tops. Our room was pretty cool. Had a kitchen and a balcony overlooking the beach.

SATURDAY - the 22nd
*Breakfast cooked by the owner of the Tops. The view was beautiful, and the home-cooked meal was great.
*Grocery shopping for that night's Braai (term they use for BBQ). It was such a rush, as we were going to make an unplanned stop to…
*Ginormous craft market - So many crafts and cool things to look at and buy. The weather was beautiful, and there was music playing in the background to make the atmosphere even more beautiful. A man put on Jack Johnson's "Better Together," and I looked around the scene, bright beautiful sun shining in my face…I felt like I was in a movie. I bought a colorful headband with a heart. Love it.
*Zip-lining across rivers! I've already gone ziplining before, but it was in a forest canopy. Here, we were going over rivers, and through smaller canyons, and the mountains were in the backdrop. So beautiful.
*Paul Sauer Bridge - we walked through the forest and walked over these 3 large bridges. Getting there was strange as we were scorching in the sun at one part, and upon entering the park where the bridge was, we were surrounded by a cloud-umbrella. So while we were on the bridges, we looked at the mountains and oceans, and there was a mist over it. It looked like it could be on a painting. We drove out of the cloud into the sun again, and we made our way to…
*Bloukrans Bridge to bungee jump! It's the world's highest bungee jump, and it was an amazing experience. I'll write more about this experience in a separate blog, but it was absolutely incredible, and probably some of the best moments of my life. It's an indescribable feeling, but I'll try to describe it the best I can when I write more about it.
*Cooking/preparing for the Braai - we arrived at our hostel in the middle of the forest in a town called "Wild Spirit" (I know, the towns we stayed in had really cool names)
*Braai - there was chicken with gravy, sausage, salad, baked potatoes, beans, bread…Mostly everyone helped in the cooking, but since I didn't, Joe and I cleaned all the dishes, pots, pans, etc.
*Epic conversations
--Joe (one of the professor's son who's 17 years old) and I washed the dishes together and had a heart-to-heart. He's a really cool kid, and I see him like a brother.
--As we left the kitchen, I overheard Michael (our driver) talking with this couple about religion. I've taken a huge interest in talking about religion, so I definitely wanted to listen in to this conversation. I went back, and thankfully, the wife named Mikhel invited me to sit and join them. Mikhel and her husband, Barack, are Jews from Israel, traveling through South Africa. She is extremely knowledgeable about her Jewish faith and the theology, and Michael is equally knowledgeable in Christianity AND also knows a lot about the Jewish faith. The dialogue would have seemed like an intense debate to the outside, but sitting there, listening and participating, it was definitely a dialogue. On both sides, the arguments were logical and well-thought out. It wasn't just like a "I believe this, and so it's true." It was definitely scholarly, and I really appreciated the tone and open atmosphere of the conversation. Flaws were being pointed out on both sides, but at the end, we all found common ground in our faiths and our seeking of the truth, and I wish I could articulate all of what was expressed that night. We didn't even really notice the time pass by. I was sitting there for two and a half hours! I was about to sleep but…
--Joe, Michael, and I decided to hang out at the bar. Michael bought us a couple of shots, and in between each one, there was a speech which became a rhyme. Our bar tender, Angus, was hilarious, and would hit this bell after each speech, signaling it was the time to drink. Before this, I was talking to this German guy named Norman. He was sitting on a bench facing darkness, and when I sat next to him, I saw that he wasn't facing darkness. He was facing this huge forest, and all these beautiful stars above it. He was telling me that since he only had one night at this place, he wanted to soak it all in before he had to leave in the next few hours.
--Eventually, it was just Joe, Angus, and me at the outside bar. We talked and watched the stars. Scanning the sky, we made wishes on shooting stars and watched this one star in particular move up into the sky in the few hours we were out there. Angus is probably one of the most hilarious guys I have ever met in my life, and said some of the craziest things I have ever heard in my life. He knows a lot about stars, but I don't know how much of it is actually true because he was really high off weed.
--We moved from the bench to this round table and just started randomly talking about life and hearing Angus's philosophy of life. Imagine the atmosphere: all the lights turned off to see the stars better, three candles shining, we're the only ones awake, a Rastafarian-looking guy sharing with us his stories and philosophy about life. He had some really deep, insightful things to say, and it was so cool to just listen and ask questions about his life. Angus was really interesting, and I wish I could record for you some of the stuff he was sharing with us. A lot of what he said related to my previous conversation about Judaism and Christianity.  Those two conversations were one of the main reasons my weekend will be unforgettable, and why that day is probably one of the days that will stick in my mind for the rest of my life.
--Got back to room at 5am and knocked out at 5:20am.

SUNDAY - 23rd
--I wake up and look out of it as I'm staring at nothing. Everyone thinks I'm just really tired, but actually I'm just thinking about everything that I talked about with Mikhel, Michael, Angus, and Joe a couple hours before. Such different people, but it was so incredible to me how they came to similar ways of understanding the world through very different means…
--Have breakfast at the hostel, and I'm not ready to leave the hostel. There's something special about the place, and funny thing is, several people (not in my group though) felt the same way.
--Plettenberg Bay - stop by a couple of beaches and sit in the sand.
--Elephant Park - we get to feed elephants! They're gentle giants, and I've decided I want one as a pet.
--Lunch at the Heads in Nysna. The food and view was beautiful. We were at the "head" of the Indian Ocean.
--Road trip home

The weekend was the best weekend of my life. Not just because of what I got to do, but also because of what I got to see. I have always heard that it was a beautiful drive, but I had no idea how beautiful the landscape and diverse the terrain was. Every couple miles, we would enter completely different terrain. We were blessed with having great weather. It was the unplanned little things that made the weekend so much better than I could have anticipated. For example, the rushing in between, the conversations I had, the things I heard, the fogginess of my jump and the gasp when free-falling 210 m (=689 feet) from a bridge…

This blog and the many pictures I took from that weekend only get at the surface. Not to mention that I changed my camera settings at the beginning of the trip, resulting in tiny pictures which I am/was kinda bummed about. But maybe it's doesn't matter anyway, because the pictures don't really show how amazing, beautiful, and incredible the overall experience was...

Pictures can't describe and show what all really happened in those three days, especially what happens inside...

it was, simply put, an indescribable weekend.

Rocks my world

So the last two weekends have been two of the best weekends of my entire life. From May 14th-May 16th, we had our Bing Weekend Trip. We went to Cederberg, which is a couple hours away. I honestly didn't know what to expect; I thought it was going to be kinda lame cause I've never really been into looking at rook art/cave paintings, but it was an awesome trip--it rocked. Corny, I know.

Saw beautiful landscapes, sat in a cave where modern-day humans sat in tens of thousands of years ago, bouldering, had the most gorgeous stargazing (I've never seen SO many stars in my entire life, and for the first time in person, I saw the Milky Way), drove the reserve, had lunch in resort randomly located in the middle of "nowhere" (literally, so random, we drove for 20 minutes off-road) etc. etc.

Other things happened….I had really really weird dreams that weekend, experienced mafia annoyance to the max, and got bitten by a mosquito on my eyelid (I didn't even know that was possible).

On a more serious note, I was pretty pensive throughout the weekend. I find it so interesting that we find so much fascination in learning about the past, in learning about what civilization was like hundreds of thousands of years ago. We find interest in it because it helps explain more of who we are today, how we came to who and what we are today. We study history because it tells a man about his-story, a woman her-story. We are somewhat egoistic, always looking for ways to understand more of who we are.

If I wasn’t on a guided tour trail, and I was just walking through Cederberg, I would not have noticed the significant red paintings of the elands, women, and hunters. I would have just walked right by, not knowing that they were even there. This makes me think of every-day life. How often do I walk by someone, not even noticing them? I just walk by a person, minding my business, stuck in my own thoughts. How much more interesting is a living, breathing human being than a red painting from centuries ago from people whose motives we can only guess? If we had the time to give attention to each person—to learn about their history, their way of seeing the world, their values, etc.—how much more would we appreciate that person, and all of humanity? I don’t just want to walk by a person and not notice them. Every person is so significant and is worth learning about. They have mysteries worth uncovering. We don’t really have to speculate; we can find out.

Everyone is like rock art, full of mystery and wonder, waiting to be discovered, 

and worth being fascinated upon.

--Sounds cheesy (because it totally is) but I think it's true. So I'm trying to do it...Rock a human; rock your world. :)

GAPA entry for 5/18

Tuesday, 18th May 2010

Today was the health club meeting. The previous week I had asked the grandmothers on the health club committee what it is they want out of the health club and what they would want to learn about in the workshops. I was trying to gauge an understanding of what the grandmothers thought about health and what they perceived as their health needs as being.

This talk was unexpected, as I was originally planned to have this talk on May 4th. Interestingly I had read in the Tim’s research class that a lot of the things people do in service-learning gets “put on the shelf” to be used later on, when the timing is better because uexpected things comes up. I thought that my facilitation questions would eventually be used, I just didn’t think it would be that soon.

When I arrived on Tuesday morning (5/11), I was told that I was given a time to talk at the health club committee. Vivienne translated for me, and I had her first ask what they would want to get out of the health club, and to explain to them how I wanted to choose a topic for me to teach about that would be applicable to them. I have the example of high blood pressure, since the results of the indemnity forms filled out the previous week had indicated many of the women suffer from this. The women began discussing, and I was really surprised when Vivienne told me they needed “spectacles.” Glasses? Woah, not expecting that. They started talking about how expensive they were, and fortunately one of the grandmothers knew of a place that was cheaper. I tried to shift the direction of the conversation—as the first things they were talking about were access to health services. I asked them to think of things that the health club could help them with, as we can’t provide those kind of services really. Fortunately, they started talking about their bones and aches. This matched another finding from the indemnity forms that many of the grandmothers were suffering from arthritis.

I explained that in the next week, I would teach them some stretches, give them health logs to fill out through the week if they would be interested, and surveys about how they felt before and after. Vivienne said they were “looking forward to it.”

“Twenty minutes.” Althea told me on Thursday (5/13) I had twenty minutes because keeping it short would be best to maintain the grandmothers’ interests. I wasn’t sure how to go about doing that…from what I proposed at the health club meeting, I would definitely need twenty minutes. I made an agenda, health log spreadsheet and a very tentative survey, but I was hoping to be able to discuss it with them instead. I did some a little bit of reading on how to exercise for arthritis, and I was hoping that Althea would be able to help me.

The night before the meeting, I started doing the reading for Janice’s Adult Education and Service-Learning class. I have to lead a discussion on the reading, and guess what the reading was about? How to educate South African women who are living in poverty. Wow.

Today (5/18), I came in and talked to Althea about the work I had done the previous night and my thoughts about what the workshop would be today. I showed her the log, and kind of already knowing the answer to my question based on what I had been learning in S-L (especially with the reading I had done the night before) and how things are at GAPA, I asked her if she thought the grandmothers would actually be encouraged to it. “No.” That’s fine; I really want to know what would(n’t) be helpful for the grandmothers.

Althea then begins to give me suggestions on how I can go about teaching the grandmothers. Have them provide examples of activities they do put strains on their bones, and then have them demonstrate it for the group. Use that as the example to teach all the basic joint-protection principles. Let them see how they can apply it to the activities they already do.

Brilliant. I absolutely love working with Althea. She knows how to do adult education, especially for the grandmothers. AND she is an occupational therapist. I was really excited for her to make these suggestions as some of the reading I had done the night before explains the marginalization of South African women in formal education, and they learn best through experiential learning, and through the experiences of their everyday realities.

I was extremely nervous. I didn’t know I would be so nervous—I have done a lot of public speaking events and have talked before larger crowds; I even list it as a skill on my CV. But I was extremely nervous. I think it was because outside of knowing that I am a “foreigner” and not understanding Xhosa, I did not know how to teach to a group whose education levels might be very different from each other’s. This might not even be true, but I wasn’t sure. Also, taking a Preparation to Community-Based Research class where we learn so much about including the community, being aware and culturally sensitive, etc. I become so aware of my “outside role” and trying to confront that by listening and being considerate, that I was just so unsure of how to go about teaching ways to decrease pains in joints to these group of women.

Thank goodness Althea was there in the meeting. She was great at elaborating on points that I said, being very animated and understanding, getting the grandmothers to participate, etc. I looked at the reactions of the grandmothers, and I could tell that they really understood what Althea was trying to teach them. Especially that she had used the example of washing clothes and getting one of the grandmothers to act out exactly how she would do it, it just made sense to the grandmothers. I mainly observed how Althea talked with them, and how the grandmothers responded.

I “taught” but in more ways, I was being taught by Althea how to teach the grandmothers. I told Althea at the end how helpful I thought she was to the grandmothers, and to me. She shared with me how hard it is to teach at first. They have information, but we have information too. She said the best way to teach them is for them to find the answers within themselves because they have information, and for us to find the right time to intervene and provide them with the information we have.

Brilliant. I love how everything I’m learning applies to other situations I find myself in at GAPA.

Photovoice: Khayelitsha and GAPA

Two Fridays ago (May 7), I did a walking tour and a photovoice project in Khayelitsha. Two of the grandmothers, Mama Susan and Mama Mase were kind enough to be my tour guides. I explained to them that I preferred if they took the pictures, and if they had anything they wanted to capture, to stop me and let me know. I also said to take pictures of anything they would want people from outside Khayelitsha to know about their community. I taught them how to use my digital camera; and together, we took many pictures. Not until finishing the picture-taking did I realize that many of the pictures we took that day were depictions of hope, activism, and self-help.

Oftentimes, in the world of higher-education, I have tended to focus on the problems and the needs. I have been constantly reminded in Tim’s and Janice’s classes to recognize the communities’ assets. In theory, this is easy, but I find it very difficult to apply in practice, especially when my main learning of townships have been from the outside, learning about the hardships and problems they face.

I learn the facts, the numbers, about the prevalence of this or that, what the government has not been adequate in addressing, etc. These are important to know; but I should not let these blind me from the things that people within Khayelitsha are already doing, how they are trying to help themselves, and how the best way to help them develop is to remove the hindrances that might prevent them from reaching their full potential...I took a lot of pictures that day, and behind many of the pictures are stories...I'll share with you a few...(unfortunately I can't all upload them on here because my internet connection isn't fast enough)

The "Should Loud, Change our Education System" painting stood out to me, as it made me think about Jonathan Clark’s talk from service-learning the Thursday before about post-apartheid education. Though he ended with a positive note, I could not help but feel almost pessimistic and helpless about the education system in South Africa. Thoughts like, there is so much that needs to be done, when will change happen, where do we even begin, crossed my mind. Seeing this however, reminded me that though there are communities that may have inadequate education, there are people from these communities who are advocating and fighting the disparities. They can recognize their barriers to development; they can articulate; they are not passive. I would be further reminded in my visit to Lwandle School of their fights for changing a system they feel might be inhibiting them from fully developing.

I was fortunate enough to meet some members of the administration and the faculty at Lwandle Primary School. The principal was so excited to share with me their school’s celebration that day, and the program they would be having later in the afternoon to thank some of their donors. I also visited a classroom, and immediately upon entering, Mama Susan became overwhelmed by all the children hugging her tightly. At GAPA, she takes care of them at the after-care, and I felt proud to be with someone who was a celebrity to these children. In her ways of showing love and care, she was helping these children’s development.

The grandmothers took me to a number of places, and I am thankful that they chose to take me to people who were working. I was even more excited to see the children of the men who sell smiley’s on the sidewalk (smiley's are sheep heads. They're really popular in Khayelitsha). The children reminded me of the other dimension of these men; they are also fathers, working for their children. There is a stereotype that people in townships are viewed as lazy and waiting for the government to give them something, but walking around, I was reminded of this passage from a CDRA reading:

 “…it is the act of people freeing themselves, choosing to take initiative and responsibility for change and then doing something about it, that is most important. Understood in this way, we can see that the process of development becomes the point of development itself.”

From the conversations I had with the GAPA grandmothers and the community members of Khayelitasha, I witnessed many who are choosing to take initiative and trying to free themselves. Learning more about the developmental process, I have begin to better understand my role as a developmental practitioner and the role of GAPA in the gradmothers’ lives, which is to help remove the outer and inner hindrances that can inhibit the grandmothers’ natural abilities to develop. The grandmothers, all of whom have lived through apartheid, have experienced many hardships, crises, and have learned from these experiences. We cannot disregard the enormous amount of knowledge and capacity they have from what they have learned through their experiences. “Not only is it respectful to work with what is already there, but it is just simple common sense."

This picture was one of my favorite from the day. It's Popeye, but his face is black. Khayelitsha and the people within have strengths and assets; we just have to take time to recognize them.

Rainy days

Winter is here in Cape Town, and it is freezing cold. Surprised? Yes, it gets cold, even in Africa. It's been raining the past few days, and according to my weekly weather forecast, it'll be raining nearly every day for the next few days. That's okay though. This is my heaviest "work" week, and the rain keeps me in and focused. I'm incredibly sleepy though, like all the time. I get more sleep here than I do at Stanford, AND i only have one class a day, not including my hours at GAPA, but why am I always so schleeeeepy.

Anyway, I wanted to share with you a video I made for GAPA yesterday. It was going to be a photovoice project, but coincidentally, Althea had been wanting to do a video slideshow-type thingy for a while. Sorry if the quality is not that good. I was experiencing technical difficulties...I wish I could share with you the story behind this video slideshow AND the stories behind the different pictures!...Eventually, I will explain, at one point, in some form or another...

Here's the link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjjAecFoOxQ

AND I want to share you one of my new favorite quotes
"Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Shuffle II: Stories behind some of the songs

Thursday, 4/29 - We had a whole-day workshop at the Community Development Resource Association (CDRA) for service-learning. We had interactive conversations and dialogue about development, the complexities, its existence, turning points in our lives, context, etc. I didn't even notice that 8-hours had passed by once the workshop was over. I don't think I've ever been so engaged. Seriously, I was writing so many notes and thinking thoughtfully about everything that James, one of the facilitators, way saying. It was extremely interesting and helpful, and I wish that every person could do that workshop. Doing the workshop showed me how much I've learned in my classes this quarter. For example, we had to give word associations to the word "development," and the first one that came to my mind is "misunderstanding." About how it's misunderstood by people who want to help, people who being helped, countries, etc. Ask me to do that word-association one month ago, and "misunderstanding" would definitely not be the first word that came to my mind.
Friday, 4/30 - In the morning, I met with Di Cooper in Mimi's cafe. Di Cooper is the Research Director of the Women's Health Unit at UCT's School of Public Health. She's brilliant and has done much in the field of sexual and reproductive health. We talked for a long time about HIV/AIDS, and she shared with me some the research her unit is doing right now. I wish the conversation could've lasted longer because she was teaching me so much about the HIV/AIDS epidemic in South Africa--the most current legislative measures, the most recent findings, and the newest research projects. She's so cool, and I wish she was teaching a class this quarter for us (because she might be teaching an HIV/AIDS class for the Stanford in Cape Town next year).

I went to GAPA for my second day of service-learning, and it was pretty awesome. More about it is in my GAPA blog entry for that day.

Last-minute decision, I decided to go to dinner at our tour guide Colleen's house. Viria, one of my friends in the Stanford program, is an amazing Thai cook, and she organized a dinner at Colleen's in Mitchell's Plain. When we got closer to her house, I felt like I was in Central Valley. Even Colleen's neighborhood looked like it could've been in Merced. I'm not going to lie--when I stepped into her house, I got a little homesick. It was so refreshing to be in a family's home, and it made me miss my family at home. Colleen's family and friends were amazing. Her husband Robert and her son Shannon were hilarious, and I laughed so much. Robert was making awkward jokes about Khai hitting on Colleen-it was great.

Saturday, 5/01- As I was getting ready in the bathroom...
Alexei: "What are you doing today?"
Me: "I don't know…i kinda just want to go on the train and see where I end up."
Alexei: "So…you don't know where you're going?"
Me: "Nope…not really…I don't have a destination. We'll see where I end up. I won't bring anything valuable with me."
I was so excited, you don't even know. I had been wanting to explore and just go somewhere without a destination for a while. I didn't have any expectations. Didn't know what I would do and who I would meet. I walked to the train station, and as I was walking, I asked God that he would keep me safe and that I would have a good, interesting day, regardless of where I was and what I ended up doing.

While trying to find out how and where to buy a ticket, I met a girl named Thandi. She helped me find my way to the ticket booth, and asked me where I was going. "I don't really know…i don't really have a destination. I just want to go somewhere. What do you suggest?" She suggested Fish Hoek, this nice place next to the coast. "Sounds good!" She was going to Mowbry. We had to wait for a while, and while talking I got to learn a lot about her. She's an Anthropology major at the University of Western Cape, and we spent a long time talking about school, studies, etc. Still talking when the train came, we got on together, and she asked me if I had been to the "Location," which is what they refer to as the townships. I told her I have but only on a tour, but that it was probably one of my favorite days. I had been wanting to go for a while, but it's definitely one of those places you have to know someone to go with. You can't just walk in one not knowing anyone. It's not the safest place. So you can imagine how excited I was when she invited me to go a birthday party in Gugulethu, one of the townships next to Mowbry.

First we went to a grocery store because she had to transfer some money. While in line, there were two men around my age in front of us talking about how everything that you see around came from men. They were being completely serious, and Thandi and I were pretty amused by the conversation. I couldn't help but cut in as he was asking his friend where his shirt comes from. "It all comes from men! Women might have sown it, but a man designed it!" "So where did you come from?…Did you come out of a man?…Cause I think you might've come out of a woman." Yeah it was kind of a dumb argument, but I was entertained by it all. After we walked away, Thandi explained to me that she thought he was Zulu or a Swathi (from Swaziland) because they are known to be much more paternalistic than Xhosa. This began a long conversation about the differences in perceptions and stereotypes among those three African tribes. Even before this conversation, Thandi and I were already talking about cultures and anthropology for a long time. Conversations between a human biology major and anthropology major make for some of the best conversations, ever.

Within the hour, I was in Gugulethu at the house of the birthday celebrant's house. The birthday boy named Iminathi, which translated to "God with us," was turning one year old. He had a string tied around his chest. Siphokazi explained me that it was for protection from the evil spirits. Witchcraft and traditional medicine are highly influential in African society. Thandi introduced me to a very "nice grannie" because I was telling her earlier how much more I admire grandmothers after starting to work at GAPA. She liked to be called "Old Lady." She was cute, sweet, and welcoming. We talked about her family and where she grew up. She really wants me to get married and said she would gladly come to my wedding. I told her she needed to find me a husband first. I spent time with her in her house for a while, and met some of the younger girls--Lisa, Siphokazi, and Ananthi--in the neighborhood. We talked about Beyoncé, High School Musical, Miley, and Justin Bieber. They were pretty adorable. I felt a little sad when I was leaving, they asked when I would be visiting again. Old Lady also asked when I would be visiting again, "Friday?" I told her them I would try to visit before I leave for California. Hopefully I'll get the chance again.

The birthday party was an extremely interesting experience. I wasn't treated like a guest really; most if not everyone treated me the same as any of the other women that were there. I really appreciated this actually. I noticed a lot of different things--some surprising, some not so-surprising. From sitting with the other young women in the room, to interacting with the one of the men of the household, to talking with "Old Lady," to having one of the toddlers think I was her mom, to sitting next and talking with a mom about her family and life, to walking to the neighborhood "shibang" (the local liquor store),  etc. etc. - I feel like I have a better understanding of the township life. I've always loved conversing with people, and I learned a lot from the different things I saw, heard from the people I met, and experienced. They were things I saw that sparked my curiosity even more, so much in fact after my Xhosa language on Wednesday (5/05), I stayed for an hour afterward and talked with my professor, asking questions about what I saw and how it relates to the cultures and beliefs of the Xhosas, Africans, or South Africans.

There are so many other things that I can write about it from my couple hours there, especially that I'm connecting it with some of the conversations I've had this week and the things I've learned this week. I'm learning so much, and it's really exciting. That Wednesday, at dinner, a couple of us had an intense conversation about cultures, differences, and ways of addressing the different needs. We considered the specific context of South Africa, but we talked about other countries as well. A lot of what i said came from what I've learned in my last few days, from the CDRA to talking with people in taxis. I'm learning an incredible amount, and it's really exciting.

On a less academic and learning note, on Saturday night, a couple of us girls went out to Stones to meet up with some guys that we met at the Waiting Room a couple weeks before. Though I can't put all the details of the events that unfolded that night, let's just say that some pretty ridiculous, funny, and akward things happened that night. ;)

Sunday, 5/02 - I went to Hillsong Church at the City Center today. The preacher talked about the month of May being the month for miracles. He encouraged the congregation to believe and have faith in God performing miracles in our lives in these next few weeks. It was pretty interesting, as I have never before heard a sermon about miracles preached in that way before. I was really happy to go to church--I miss that atmosphere of praise and fellowship.

After church, I walked to Waterfront, a very ritzy-bougie place on the pier. It was a beautiful day to be there. I met a Filipino (my first one here!) woman named Miriam and we talked for a long time about traveling and being Filipino. Randomly, I happened to see a concert for "Patriot's Day," which honored South African lawyers, physicians, business owners, etc. I watched men in ties hip-hop dance, and men dressed as hotel stewards sing jazz. It was sorta cheesy, but it was cute. After searching and walking around for a long time, I finally found a place that was affordable and suitable to do work--"Mug and Bean." My food was amazing, and my waiter was a cutie. I took a mini-bus taxi back to Obs, and I talked for a long time with the driver named Shafiek. We talked about his wife and children, and I stayed in his taxi while we bought bread for his family. He was really helpful; He was only supposed to take me to the main terminal, but he took me back all the way to my street for only R3.50!

Shuffle.

I don't think I've ever allowed anyone read a part of my writing journal (which I carry around with me everywhere here), but I wanted to include an excerpt of what I wrote on Friday because I think it captures so much of how I've felt these last few days. This entry is more a prayer; I addressed it to God, which I often do in my journal entries. So anyway, here's an exclusive look ;)

"Every day I learn something new, and I feel I'm working towards something wonderful You [God] have planned for me. I don't know what it is. It's something literally indescribable, because I can't describe something I literally don't know. I'm excited though. It can be frustrating and scary at times, but there's something exhilarating about going (just going) without a known destination. I know I'll end up somewhere--for me, that's enough. Because that somewhere is exactly is where you, God, want me to be."

It's hard for me to articulate all that I've been feeling and experiencing these past few days. I wish I could share everything that has happened around me and in me. With some of the things that have been happening, it's like my life has been on "shuffle" and as random as things have been, it's like every song that comes up is my new favorite song for the moment. Over the next few days, I'll share with you as many as the songs as I can...

Here's some of the playlist:
Tuesday (4/27)
*Freedom Day!
*Hike to Lion's Head - Watched the sunset over the Indian ocean, and watched the city light up and be lit up by the Full Moon. The most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

*Exactly ONE month since I've arrived in Cape Town. My flight arrived at 4:30PM on March 27th, and we started the hike to Lion's head at 4:35PM on April 27th.

Wednesday (4/28)
*Freestyle Football World Final - Got the VERY last ticket available, and it was by pure chance because a group of us were told they were sold out. A guy, who already had one ticket, asked if anyone wanted to buy it. You know I jumped on that. The atmosphere was so much fun, and we were on TV for a few seconds!

Thursday (4/29)
*Community Development Resource CDRA - Awesome, awesome workshop

Friday (4/30)
*Meeting with Women's Health Unit Research Director, Di Cooper
*GAPA - the idaba
*Dinner at Colleen's house with her family and friends

Saturday (5/01)
*Train station - Met Thandi. She is an Athropology major who has been living in Obs. She's so sweet and welcoming.
*Gugulethu
*Minibus ride back - radio show with Harrison
*Stones/House Party/Clubbing on Long Street - crazy, ridiculous night full of good stories. One of my friends almost got in a fight because a random guy walked by and "violated" me. Very eventful night.

Sunday (5/02)
*Hillsong Church at City Centre - "Miracle May" sermon. Preacher talked about having faith that miracles will happen this month. Pretty good sermon.
*Beautiful walk to Waterfront - Met a nice man named Nole
*Spent the day at Waterfront - met my first Filipino here! Her name was Miriam, and we met while waiting to cross a bridge. She's an avid traveler who has gone all over the world.
*Minibus ride back - met a nice man named Shafiek, who was only supposed to take me to the terminal, but he took me all the way back to my home. The ride should have at least been R15, especially since it was out of his way, and he was done working, but he did it for R3.50. I waited in the car while he bought bread for his family--his wife and three daughters.

Monday (5/03)
*Drive to GAPA - Will and I had an awesome talk about God and Christianity. He shared with his story of how he came to be a driver.
*GAPA - Talked with Sylvia about our Christian faith. There were many highlights from this day! I put it my GAPA entry.
*Research class - Absolutely LOVE this class
*Decided to extend my stay in Cape Town until the end of July

Tuesday (5/04)
*Confirmed flight changes: June 13th --> July 29th
*GAPA

*House Meeting!

*Tiger, Tiger for Craig's 21st birthday

Wednesday (5/05)
*Xhosa class
*Stayed after class and had a long discussion with my Xhosa teacher about Xhosa culture and beliefs. Really interesting conversation.
*Post-dinner convo about cultures and "interventions". Pretty controversial, but a lot of good things to think about came up.
*World Cup Tickets to France v. Uruguay for June 11th - we finally managed to get our hands on some!
 

On Saturday, while getting ready, I put the iTunes setting on "shuffle" and before pressing play, I said in my head (yeah, I say things to myself in my head), "whatever song comes on will be the song for the day." And guess what song came up? "My World" by Avril Lavigne. The next song? "Live Your Life" by Rihanna. On Sunday morning, we sang a closing worship song after talking about faith and miracles happening in May. The chorus's main lyrics? "This is Your [God's] World."

My world is on shuffle, but God knows exactly what song is playing next. 

He gives me direction, and all I have to do is have faith and live life.

GAPA entries for 5/3 and 5/4

Monday, 3rd May 2010
9:15AM – 3:15PM

Today was a great day. It was random, but that’s what made it great. When I first came to GAPA two weeks ago, Vivienne and Althea told me that many unplanned things come up throughout the day, and you just learn to handle and adapt in the ever-changing schedules.

I arrived a little late, but Althea was not yet at GAPA. I started doing the “Photovoice” reading for the research class, which put simply, is a way of understanding the community and having the community documenting the reality of their lives and critically reflect on the factors that might oppress them. Two coincidences. One, last Friday, in my free time, Althea had me read an article featured in a women’s magazine about one of the grandmothers. The article was of a grandmother’s schedule in a normal day, which included waking up at five, heating water to bathe her grandchildren, taking care of her mentally disabled sons, etc. Two, over the weekend, Althea was reading a book about the method “Participatory Video,” which has essentially the same approaches and benefits as photovoice. I looked through her book and read through the ethics and limits of the method. Really interesting. I love how what I’m learning, combined with my interest of taking pictures and gathering stories was all combined in my work.
I met a man named “Conference” today. He lives down the street from GAPA, and he is absolutely brilliant and has actually had several of his writings published in the local newspaper. Conference came to the office and hands a huge sum of money to Althea. He wants her to keep it safe for him; Althea thought it would be better to open up a bank account for him. Later, Althea would share with me that many people in the community come to GAPA for help, and she likes doing it (“I try to help people when I can”).

We drove to the Khayelitsha mall after going to the Cape Town city hall, and it was extremely crowded. Yesterday was payday so people were withdrawing money because their paychecks are automatically put into their bank accounts. I also saw a sick young man, lying down in the middle of the walkway. People just walked by and/or stared; no one knew what to do. Penny, one of the GAPA employees who was there with us, shared she saw someone a few days in the same position in her neighborhood, and she had no idea what to do. This reminds me of what Jarred, a Stanford student here on a fellowship, told me about the emergency response system in the townships. It takes an average of 3-4 hours for an ambulance to arrive, and in that time, the person has either already passed away or is in a much more critical condition. He is working to educate people within the community to be able to respond before ambulances arrive. Also, when I was in Gugulethu, another township, while I was talking back from the liquor store, I saw a man being carried out of a house by three people. What’s going on, I asked. “Alcohol poisoning.” That reminds me of…I could go on and on about stories I’ve heard while being here or things I’ve witnessed relating to health, inequalities, and interventions in South Africa…

While waiting at the bank, Conference showed us his notebook which contained hundreds of unorganized phrases. He read some to us, and though they were not organized; they were lovely to listen to. Toothless and smacking his lips, Conference shared with us one of his most recent entries: “I have things I want to do. Whatever I want to do, I follow through. No matter how hard it gets, I follow through. Come rain, come shine.” Like I said, lovely to listen to.

When I came back, I got a chance to talk to Sylvia, the grandmother who translated for me on Friday. We talked for a while, and I shared with her the video I taped last Friday of the grandmothers singing and dancing to one of the songs. It was my favorite one they were singing, and she translated it for me: “O Lord, keep us safe. Hold me in your hand. Keep us safe from the Devil. You’re the only one who can keep us through.” Sylvia and I continued to talk about our Christian faith, and our faiths in God providing us all we need.

Afterwards, I started doing my work. I typed out the lyrics to Xhosa lullabies that were sung by the grandmothers for their children. Xhosa is so pretty when song. The grandmothers translated for me, and I learned how to say baboon in Xhosa! “Imfene.” Afterwards, Althea and I met afterwards and talked for a long time about work that needed to be done in the net few weeks for the documentation project and the health club. I’m really looking forward to all the work that we’re doing, especially that it relates so much to what I’m learning in my service-learning and research classes that it’s almost creepy, i.e. documentation, research methods, public health interventions, surveys, cultural humility, etc.

One thing I am anxious about however is all that has to be (or should be) accomplished in the next few weeks. Every day (especially in social sector work), challenges and unexpected situations come up that need to be addressed. Inevitably, in handling these oftentimes-difficult situations—whether they may be bureaucratic decision-making, filling out paperwork, or someone from the community needing to be taken the mall to open up a bank account—organizational tasks get pushed to the side, and things get delayed. “You have to learn how to handle with whatever comes up because you never know what’ll come up when you arrive in GAPA,” Althea told me as we were leaving Khayelitsha mall. Deadlines do not necessarily change with the unexpected and unforeseen needs and situations, which results in more stress for the women at GAPA. Plans and project implementations get delayed.

Hopefully we will be able to carry out some of the plans, especially that Althea has given me specific tasks she wants me to do in the next few weeks, i.e. lead a discussion about health tomorrow at the health club to gauge their understanding of “health” and their perceived needs. This is the plan for tomorrow, early afternoon, but we’ll see what happens. To be honest I’m pretty excited about this, because this is exactly the type of stuff we’ll be talking about in research class this week. How to structure health interventions with the community by getting the community members to critically reflect and analyze their own situations.
Regardless though, if tomorrow’s agenda follows through or foils, I hope I can just be of service and learn in whatever situations arise. “Come rain, come shine.”

Tuesday, 4th May 2010
12:15PM – 4:00PM

Today I got to meet Kathleen, the original founder of GAPA. She is an elderly, white South African, who actually was the madam for the mother of Vivienne, GAPA’s current director. The perfect way to describe Kathleen is this: think of a basketball coach. Replace the young, athletic coach with an elderly woman. And instead of coaching players; she’s coaching women working in the non-profit sector. Tough love. She’s real and says it the ways it is. Her words may sound harsh, but she’s careful about her words and she knows it’s what the listener needs to hear. She’s strong and passionate, and listening to her talk to Vivienne and Althea, I was inspired by her words. She reminded all of us of the values GAPA was founded on.

Their meeting was mainly about the inter-group conflict that exploded the previous week. She was giving her opinions and thoughts about the situation, and also critiqued GAPA’s current work. Kathleen talked about what she saw as potential problems and how to handle different problems, emphasizing that we all come from very different backgrounds, cultures,  and ways of understanding. I wrote down some of what she was saying…Isolated, they may not sound that profound, but hearing her and knowing the context of the situation, her words were just what I needed to hear. They gave me a different perspective on the situation, on the grandmothers, etc.

On what action should be taken to resolve the inter-group conflict
    •    “My ‘fair,’ what your ‘fair’ is, and what ‘fair’ is for a grandmother living in poverty her whole life – our ‘fair’s’ are not the same; they’re different.”

On sharing profits with the group v. keeping profits earned by an individual
    •    “[Making them share their profits] is what created the system. Knocking them down once one person starts advancing.”

On what Althea and Vivienne should be (not) doing
    •    “They are adults, [you] can’t work it out for them. Sort it out among yourselves [the grandmothers].”

On some of the personal hardships of working in GAPA
    •    “[The grandmothers] they’re bullies. But they’ve gone through a lot. Take off your hat for them and I always do that for them.”

Althea expressed what many people in her work oftentimes feel—even I’ve felt this way. She was telling Kathleen how sometime she wonders if she’s making a difference because she’s not from the Xhosa culture, she doesn’t know the language…before Althea could finish, Kathleen cut her off:
    •    “Don’t worry about that!...Show them the way, give them a gentle nudge. But you can’t do it for them…can’t be all things for all people.” You do what you can, but in the end, it’s their decisions, Kathleen was essentially saying.

I felt pretty pumped listening to Kathleen. Especially with yesterday’s reminder that things can’t always go to plan and how progress seems to be slow-moving and inefficient, her words could not have come in a better time. Yes, the “planned” agenda of me facilitating a discussion on health today did not happen, but I’m learning to adapt with the situations.

Later, Althea had me go through the health indemnity forms that were filled out by the health club members this morning. I did a lot of data input on Excel and looked for trends. As boring and tedious as it may sound, I was actually really enjoyed doing it for a number of reasons. One is that I now have a better understanding of the health profiles of the women with whom I’ll be working. This is only a technical assessment of their health; hopefully with a discussion I’ll have a social assessment. Eventually however I will have a better idea of creative ways and solutions of addressing their different health needs.

One of the directors of the Clothing Bank came and talked to the grandmothers. Though I was not in the meeting, I can overhear most of what was being said. Imagine what it’s like getting females with dominant, strong personalities and opinions all together in a room discussing a topic such as money. It was apparent that everyone—the grandmothers, the GAPA directors, and the Clothing Bank, all had different assumptions and agendas for the partnership. The conversation was intense, but it was open and honest. Everyone listened and attempted to understand where the other was coming from.

GAPA entry for 4/30

One of the things my supervisor Althea wants me to do throughout my time working at GAPA is to keep a reflective and analytical journal. She has multiple reasons she wants me to do this, but the one, maybe not so obvious is for documentation purposes. One of the things I'm helping her implement is a documentation project and research. Also having taken adult education classes, Althea thinks my thoughts and journey through GAPA is important to record. Sweet. Like I said, perfect fit for me. :)

That being said, I'll be posting up my GAPA journal entries on here. Writing them, I forget that it's work. I'm actually really glad I "have" to do this. I didn't mean for my first one to be this long, but once I started typing, I just didn't want to leave anything out--there's too much that got me thinking, and too much I don't want to forget.

Friday, 30th April, 2010

Today was GAPA’s “idaba,” their large group meeting that they hold on the last Friday every month. These women are fierce. Yesterday at the CDRA, James asked us who were the first people in civil society to address the HIV/AIDS issue—the grandmothers who had to take care of their dying children and their grandchildren. So cool.

When I came in today’s idaba, there were a woman passionately yelling in Xhosa. After her, they started singing, and many stood up and started dancing. Immediately after that, another granny would stand up and start talking again. Another song. This repeated several times. Emotions were high, but these emotions differed from what I say Monday. These were positive emotions, and though I didn’t understand what they were saying, I knew the tears I saw were ones of joy. While they were singing, I stepped into the office and asked Althea what they were talking about, and she confirmed what I was thinking—they were sharing their inspirational stories of that month. I was so impressed and amazed, and I briefly shared with Althea my feelings of enlightenment about GAPA and the grandmothers. Sitting back in my chair in the front row, and listening to their stories, though I could not understand any of what they were saying, I could not help but be happy and want to cry with them.

With Althea’s help, I was connected with granny Sylvia Ngewu, who translated for me for a large portion of the idaba. I’m so thankful she was translated and explained to me things that were said during the meeting; I learned so much in the half hour to 45 minutes she was sitting next to me.

Vivienne, the GAPA director, shared her story of how she came this morning feeling sad, but after arriving, she was uplifted. She knows God is with her and will allow GAPA to grow. Vivienne and all the grandmothers have an enormous amount of energy and faith, and it’s so admirable. My eyes got watery while listening to Vivienne.

The next part of the program was a man who tried selling energy-efficient stoves. To be honest, I do not think he did a good job selling his product. One, beyond explaining that it would reduce electricity costs and would be energy efficient, he didn’t do a thorough job of why I should really care or its importance. He didn’t take time explain the problem; he just started talking about how to use it. That leads to my next point, which is that he wasn’t clear on how to use it. Even though he was speaking in English and I could hear everything he was saying, I still didn’t get how to use the little green stove. How much more for the grandmothers when it’s being translated and consequently diluted? I looked around the room, and everyone looked so confused. Three, he didn’t display any knowledge of Xhosa culture or how life was in Kyelitsha. A little knowledge in these two things would have a made a difference in his overall presentation to the grandmothers, and the grandmothers’ perception of him. For example, when Althea introduced him, the grandmothers responded in “Molo Mama…” Laughter erupted. He smiled and nodded his head. He had no idea he was just addressed as an elderly woman.  

I found it really interesting to be sitting next to Sylvia during this part of the program.
She explained to me her reasons for not wanting to buy one; for her, it wasn’t practical. Additionally, she would explain to me why people would laugh when the granny would be translating his words. I could understand his English words, and he was not for humor; so why were people laughing? The translator would add jokes to help explain his words better. I also asked Sylvia to explain to me the feelings of the other grandmothers in the room during the presentation. At one point, it seemed like most of the women were going to buy a stove; but by the end, Sylvia told me that probably no one was going to buy one. “Why,” I asked. “Because you have to buy coal and wood to use it; and we don’t have the money to keep buying that.” But in the beginning of his presentation, he mentioned that you could use paper…? I tried explaining that to her…but she had already made her mind, and he didn’t take the time to really explain that.

Althea talked about documentation and the new letter-writing campaign they are going to be doing with two other organizations in Uganda and Kenya. Althea and Vivienne asked for the group’s consent after explaining the importance and possibilities of documentation. There was consensus, and I think Althea was surprised when a larger number of grandmothers volunteered to have their stories required. Only eight were needed, and so decisions would have to be made on those would be. Vivienne gave her opinion and her reasons, but she openly said to everyone, that they are free to agree or disagree with anything that she ways. I really respect Althea and Vivienne’s approach to the decision-making with the grandmothers. They let know have the power and responsibility for what happens.

Later, Vivienne and Althea formally introduced me to the grandmothers. I explained to them in addition to learning adult education and working with them for the next six weeks, I’m learning about South African history and Xhosa. By the looks they gave me, I could tell they were happy that I was taking the time to learn and understand their history and culture. I wish I could remember more of what I have learned in Xhosa class; I decided today that I’m doing to try and memorize some more phrases…a little bit of language could take me really far, especially when trying to gain trust with the grandmothers.

Towards the end of my day at GAPA, I go into the office and meet with Althea. For the next half hour, we do updates, review, and brainstorm ideas for the documentation and health club projects. I’m really excited to initiate projects and be part of the implementation. Althea’s awesome, and even though I just started working at GAPA, she’s receptive of my ideas and suggestions.There's flexibility and freedom, yet there's a lot of things of "limitations" because I'm increasingly becoming more aware of what it means to be a health intervention in a community very different than the ones I identify with (that's a combination of the challenging questions that result from taking "Prep to Community-Based Research and Adult Education). One of the things I’m most looking forward to is being able to apply everything I’m learning in ALL of my classes. In different ways, I’m learning more about the country’s context, the Xhosa culture, health, dialogue/communication, partnership with communities, cultural humility, adult learning (which I’ll be doing with the grandmothers), etc. etc. The list goes on. With my learning, I hope to continue growing in my intentionality and critical thinking skills to be most helpful and effective in my service-learning.